Grief and Desire,

Grief is related to desire. Desire is the source of both grief and happiness; if you have desires of any kind you will undoubtedly have grief. If your desire is met, you may find joy, and if it isn’t, there is grief. Joy and grief are brothers in a way, and if you experience one fully you will probably experience the other in its fullness. If you deny either one, you will limit the other to the same degree. If you deny your grief, you limit your joy; if you deny your joy, you limit your grief.

A man I worked with named Phil immediately saw how this related to his own life. He said, “You know, that’s why I had all those upsetting feelings at my mid-life period. I was dealing with all my unmet desires for success at work.” He remembered his fantasies of huge success, at being top in his field, and realized that when he reached mid-life he experienced the loss of the possibility of his dreams coming to fruition.

pg 8,  Swallowed by a Snake: The Gift of the Masculine Side of Healing